I felt the hand of God tonight. He guided me right into the path of a new friend. I honestly think if I had chosen to walk the other way, God would have drug me back. He's done it before.
I met the most wonderful new foster parent. She has her first placement and is doing a great job. I spent an hour and a half with her answering questions, talking about my experience's and snuggling with one of her beautiful twin daughters.
She put my phone number into her own phone to expand her support system...an honor for me.
Jennifer is a breath of fresh air in this sometimes stagnant atmosphere of bureaucracy. She and her husband share a passion for children in need. They also have a heart for the birth families; a rare find these days. They are filled with energy and compassion for the whole child, birth family and all.
What an honor to meet Jennifer and her children. I look forward to meeting her husband. It is families like Jennifer's whose hands and feet are those of Jesus...who welcome the children in his name.
Thank you to all the Jennifer's out there. You are my hero's.
With great respect,
Judy
Still loving life as a Foster and Adoptive Parent for over 20 years and 58 children.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Say YES to the Dress
Today's the day. I have to gather up all my strength and patience to shop for a dress with the Social Bear. We must travel 45 miles to the Mall as no store between here and there is acceptable. It is mandatory to shop in a store with music blaring so loud the manikins vibrate. The dresses are categorized by "maybe" "I don't think so" and "Hoochie Mama".
Social Bear heads straight for the Hoochie Mama rack. She holds up the first one to which I say nothing. It can't be a dress. It is a strapless shirt in a size 4 toddler. She rolls her eyes and says, "What's wrong with it? I love it!" It's going to be a long afternoon.
After looking at no less than 20 dresses, I agree on four for her to try on. Off to the dressing room with four black dresses in various styles of Hoochie Mama. When she opened the curtain wearing the first one, I said, "Take it off." The second one was so short the skirt cupped under her rear. I took a deep breath and asked, "What exactly are you trying to say with your outfit?" She looked at me like I had three heads and says, "What do you mean?" "Well" I said. "Do you want people, most especially boys, to look at you and think you look pretty or that you look like a hooker on CSI?" Social Bear just rolls her eyes, grins behind my back and puts her own clothes back on.
After much gnashing of teeth and another round of browsing in the "maybe" and "I don't think so" racks, we agreed on a cute little black shirt, skirt and shrug. Whew! Being the oldest mom on the block can be exhausting. Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking adopting at our age. Then I remember how much I love each one of them.
Enjoy the hard times. They're tomorrows precious memories.
In Christ,
Judy
Social Bear heads straight for the Hoochie Mama rack. She holds up the first one to which I say nothing. It can't be a dress. It is a strapless shirt in a size 4 toddler. She rolls her eyes and says, "What's wrong with it? I love it!" It's going to be a long afternoon.
After looking at no less than 20 dresses, I agree on four for her to try on. Off to the dressing room with four black dresses in various styles of Hoochie Mama. When she opened the curtain wearing the first one, I said, "Take it off." The second one was so short the skirt cupped under her rear. I took a deep breath and asked, "What exactly are you trying to say with your outfit?" She looked at me like I had three heads and says, "What do you mean?" "Well" I said. "Do you want people, most especially boys, to look at you and think you look pretty or that you look like a hooker on CSI?" Social Bear just rolls her eyes, grins behind my back and puts her own clothes back on.
After much gnashing of teeth and another round of browsing in the "maybe" and "I don't think so" racks, we agreed on a cute little black shirt, skirt and shrug. Whew! Being the oldest mom on the block can be exhausting. Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking adopting at our age. Then I remember how much I love each one of them.
Enjoy the hard times. They're tomorrows precious memories.
In Christ,
Judy
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Things That Make Me Smile
Hearing these words, "Judy, there's this baby. Can you take him?"
Hearing a judge say, "Adoption granted."
Watching the faces of a new mommy and daddy as they see their child for the first time.
Hearing a child sing.
Seeing a child smile without hesitation.
Watching empty eyes become full of light.
Feeling the touch of a tiny hand on my face.
Hearing a child cry that was never to make a sound.
Watching my children welcome yet another baby into our family.
Seeing Brave Bear's smiling face everyday.
Knowing that God is pleased with our family.
Playing with my grandchildren.
Hearing a praying child.
Funny, it's not really things at all that make me smile. How about you? What makes you smile?
Blessings,
Judy
Hearing a judge say, "Adoption granted."
Watching the faces of a new mommy and daddy as they see their child for the first time.
Hearing a child sing.
Seeing a child smile without hesitation.
Watching empty eyes become full of light.
Feeling the touch of a tiny hand on my face.
Hearing a child cry that was never to make a sound.
Watching my children welcome yet another baby into our family.
Seeing Brave Bear's smiling face everyday.
Knowing that God is pleased with our family.
Playing with my grandchildren.
Hearing a praying child.
Funny, it's not really things at all that make me smile. How about you? What makes you smile?
Blessings,
Judy
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Saying Good-bye
One of the most rewarding and yet one of the most heart wrenching times in a foster parent's life is when a child, a child of their heart, is ready to go into adoption or go back to their birth family. It is that time once again in our family.
J came to us from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). He has been part of our family for fourteen months and twenty-one days. We have watched this little angel grow and change into a toddler with a personality all his own. We have prayed for him and loved him. When it became evident that he needed a forever family, we began preparing ourselves and J for a life change.
Last night was J's first overnight by himself with his new family. He spent the night once before but Brave Bear was with him. J will come home tomorrow and we will continue visits back and forth till the end of the month. I miss him already.
This morning, I awoke early thinking I heard J calling me from his crib. A stab of pain in my heart tells me he is waking with his silly grin to a new mommy and daddy. I remind myself that this is a good thing. I love the family he is becoming a part of. I know this is God's plan. I know he couldn't stay with us forever. I know there are other children who need me.
Yesterday, Darlene and I shopped till we dropped at the outlet mall. I bought 14 new outfits for J to go with the 8 I had already purchased. (A boy can't start a new life without looking good.) Carter's had to restock when we left. As we drove home, I couldn't help dwell for just a moment that this was the last time I would get to shop for J. Another stab of pain.
Last night, my conversation with God went something like this: "Oh, God, please surround J with your love and security tonight. I know he is anxious in his new surroundings and wondering where I am. Please give his new family all the skills they need to make this transition a smooth and wonderful time. Lord, it hurts. No matter how many times I live through this, it hurts my heart. Can you just let me skip this part and go straight to the next stage of grieving? I know. I know. You don't bargain. God, it hurts my kids heart's, too...and the rest of our family. Prepare each of us for our loss as each day passes. More importantly, God, prepare J's heart for this wonderful new chapter in his life. Bless his new family as they are experiencing the miracle of adoption. Thank you for sending them. And God, thank you for entrusting your precious children into my care. Amen"
Blessings my friends,
Judy
J came to us from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). He has been part of our family for fourteen months and twenty-one days. We have watched this little angel grow and change into a toddler with a personality all his own. We have prayed for him and loved him. When it became evident that he needed a forever family, we began preparing ourselves and J for a life change.
Last night was J's first overnight by himself with his new family. He spent the night once before but Brave Bear was with him. J will come home tomorrow and we will continue visits back and forth till the end of the month. I miss him already.
This morning, I awoke early thinking I heard J calling me from his crib. A stab of pain in my heart tells me he is waking with his silly grin to a new mommy and daddy. I remind myself that this is a good thing. I love the family he is becoming a part of. I know this is God's plan. I know he couldn't stay with us forever. I know there are other children who need me.
Yesterday, Darlene and I shopped till we dropped at the outlet mall. I bought 14 new outfits for J to go with the 8 I had already purchased. (A boy can't start a new life without looking good.) Carter's had to restock when we left. As we drove home, I couldn't help dwell for just a moment that this was the last time I would get to shop for J. Another stab of pain.
Last night, my conversation with God went something like this: "Oh, God, please surround J with your love and security tonight. I know he is anxious in his new surroundings and wondering where I am. Please give his new family all the skills they need to make this transition a smooth and wonderful time. Lord, it hurts. No matter how many times I live through this, it hurts my heart. Can you just let me skip this part and go straight to the next stage of grieving? I know. I know. You don't bargain. God, it hurts my kids heart's, too...and the rest of our family. Prepare each of us for our loss as each day passes. More importantly, God, prepare J's heart for this wonderful new chapter in his life. Bless his new family as they are experiencing the miracle of adoption. Thank you for sending them. And God, thank you for entrusting your precious children into my care. Amen"
Blessings my friends,
Judy
Monday, March 12, 2012
In the Beginning
Halloween 1986 is a memory I will never forget. God crossed our paths with such purpose, even an unbeliever would admit it was no coincidence. Fast forward to December 12, 1987, God joined the five of us as a family in a small ceremony in the home of our Sunday School teachers.
Three years into our lives together, God opened the door for us to become foster parents. We were excited and had visions of sweet little kids coming into our home for us to love and nurture. We were going to follow God's calling and make the world a better place. We made the decision not to become adoptive parents as there were too many people waiting for children and we already had three children. It would be selfish of us. It didn't take long to realize that we had a lot to learn, a lot of blessings to receive and many miracles to witness.
First, you never learn everything in pre-service training. One of our early placements had come into our home with smiles and a secret history. I will not go into their secret history as it was revealed to us later. It is not printable. However, I will give you a snip-it of their first night. Bath time brought new meaning to disgusting. When we were bathing these two precious children, my husband noticed something in the water. He thought it must be pieces of dirt but before he could say anything, one of the children started crying. She was hard to understand but it sounded like she said, "My bugs! My bugs!" Actually, that is exactly what she was saying. She was distraught that her head lice were falling out and drowning. After consoling our new daughter at the loss of her bugs, we tucked them both into bed in their perfectly decorated and toy filled room. Two hours after we had tucked them in, they were still quietly lying in bed. I made one more trip into their room and asked if they had any more questions. One angel finally looked at the other and then at me, "Where do we hide when the police kick in the door?" Taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts, I said, "Well, that's never happened here but if it will make you feel better, pick a place." They both looked around the room, turned over and went to sleep. We were dumbfounded. We were exhausted. We were overwhelmed. To top it off, our heads itched...every time we thought about it. My head itches now just remembering.
There is no training to prepare you for these sort of moments. There is no handbook to refer to. You are on your own. You learn as you go. You have to keep a sense of humor or you will lose your sanity. With all sincerity, welcome to my world!
In Christ,
Three years into our lives together, God opened the door for us to become foster parents. We were excited and had visions of sweet little kids coming into our home for us to love and nurture. We were going to follow God's calling and make the world a better place. We made the decision not to become adoptive parents as there were too many people waiting for children and we already had three children. It would be selfish of us. It didn't take long to realize that we had a lot to learn, a lot of blessings to receive and many miracles to witness.
First, you never learn everything in pre-service training. One of our early placements had come into our home with smiles and a secret history. I will not go into their secret history as it was revealed to us later. It is not printable. However, I will give you a snip-it of their first night. Bath time brought new meaning to disgusting. When we were bathing these two precious children, my husband noticed something in the water. He thought it must be pieces of dirt but before he could say anything, one of the children started crying. She was hard to understand but it sounded like she said, "My bugs! My bugs!" Actually, that is exactly what she was saying. She was distraught that her head lice were falling out and drowning. After consoling our new daughter at the loss of her bugs, we tucked them both into bed in their perfectly decorated and toy filled room. Two hours after we had tucked them in, they were still quietly lying in bed. I made one more trip into their room and asked if they had any more questions. One angel finally looked at the other and then at me, "Where do we hide when the police kick in the door?" Taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts, I said, "Well, that's never happened here but if it will make you feel better, pick a place." They both looked around the room, turned over and went to sleep. We were dumbfounded. We were exhausted. We were overwhelmed. To top it off, our heads itched...every time we thought about it. My head itches now just remembering.
There is no training to prepare you for these sort of moments. There is no handbook to refer to. You are on your own. You learn as you go. You have to keep a sense of humor or you will lose your sanity. With all sincerity, welcome to my world!
In Christ,
Judy
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15
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