You are finally done with all the training, inspections, questions, paperwork and you have your license proudly displayed for all to see. Now, you wait. In training, you heard about the families that got a placement the day they were approved. You hope you will be, too.
As a PRIDE trainer, I will remind you that it takes 9 months to have a baby, even if you get pregnant the first time you try. Foster and adoption are often the same way. As a foster and adoptive parent of 20 odd years, I will tell you that I still carry the phone to the bathroom with me so I don't miss a call. I still call my worker and remind her that I am anxiously awaiting a call. Oops! I forgot to call her today.
Since our second placement in 1992 and through 2007, we were never completely empty. In fact, we have stayed full....at capacity...no more room in the Inn....most of the last 20 something years. Except I have no placement now. I am going crazy!
My own five kids are not enough. I kissed my last placement good-bye as he went into adoption on April 16. I am lost. I am a fixer. I NEED a placement. I WANT a broken baby. Don't misunderstand, I don't want someone to break a baby for me. I know there are those already broken that need a mommy like me.
I don't want the placement worker to leave her computer screen or her phone till I get that call. I want her to eat at her desk and check her e-mail every 3 minutes. I want her to keep her on-call phone with her at all times. I prefer she not shower till I get a placement. A bath is acceptable as she can answer the phone during a bath. I promise you she wants a placement for me as bad as I do. She will be very glad when I no longer call her daily to whine about needing a placement.
I'm thinking of printing business cards with my name and number on it so I can go to the hospital neonatal units and the PICU's and pass them out in hopes that a CPS case workers will put my name on one of those babies.
I am not patient. I don't want to be patient. I WANT A BABY!
Can I get an Amen?
Judy
Still loving life as a Foster and Adoptive Parent for over 20 years and 58 children.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Should classrooms have video cameras?
I have often wondered if putting video cameras in the classroom would aid in convincing little Johnny's parents that he is, in fact, making obscene gestures at his teacher and classmates. There are, in my opinion, way too many parents who make excuses for their students behavior, refuse to believe their little angel did anything wrong or blame the school. If the behavior is on video, parent's can't deny what their eyes see.
I wonder if, like football coaches, teachers can view their classes and fine tune their teaching skills as coaches fine tune their coaching. Imagine students having access to repeat instruction via recorded classes. Wouldn't video recording cut down on student misbehavior in general? The have cameras on school buses for that very reason.
In all of my wondering, I never considered a hidden camera or audio recorder attached to a student. I have never considered the possibility that our special population teachers and other school professionals are anything less than the dedicated educators they signed up to be. Stuart Chaifetz wasn't thinking any negative about his son's teacher either, but he felt he needed to find out why his ten year old son, diagnosed with Autism, was becoming violent in the classroom but never at home. He placed a "wire" on his son prior to sending him to school, as his son is unable to communicate adequately to explain his day. When Mr. Chaifetz listened to the six hours of audio, he was sick.
Instead of hearing other students bullying Akain, the audio revealed it was the teacher, the teacher's aides, and the occupational therapist who behaved inappropriately and unprofessionally, if not criminally. On the recording, you can hear an adult call Akain a "Bastard". You hear adults belittling the children off and on all day. You can hear adults discussing their dislike of parents, specifically, Mr. Chaifetz in front of Akain. You hear the teacher and the OT literally conspiring to sabotage an ARD meeting. You hear, "SHUT UP!" screamed by an adult to special needs children.
Mr. Chaifetz took his audio to the school administration in order for them to handle the personnel issues within the district. However, after only one aide being fired and the teacher being reassigned to another campus, Mr. Chaifetz went public.
Oh my gosh!!! Everyone involved should have been fired. They sure would have been fired in my school district. The teacher claimed she was not in her classroom the first hour of the day. Okay, what about the rest of the day? Her voice is clearly on that recording speaking inappropriately to students, speaking ill of parents, discussing how to lie to a parent and planning a coup during an ARD meeting.
What is this school district thinking? They have grounds for termination on so many levels. Why would any school district in any state want a teacher who is so obviously inappropriate and one so detrimental to the well being of the children in her class? Get her out of there. She is not the norm. She is the exception; a bad exception. She should not be in any classroom in any district.
One teacher's aide was fired. What about the other one? Even if she was not clearly heard being inappropriate, she was privy to what others said and reported this to no one. Where is she now? I wouldn't want her in my child's classroom, on the playground, in the library or in the lunchroom.
I am happy to report that Akain is no longer attending the school in question and is having no violent outbursts.
To address my original thought, I think maybe there are more reasons than I originally thought for having video cameras in the classroom. Whether it is one student's incorrigible behavior caught on video or one teacher out of thousands openly traumatizing her students, maybe it is worth it. If it helps educate students by watching their class over and over, maybe it's worth the time and money to get it done. If it helps our teachers become better teachers, it's a win-win situation.
Think about it.
Blessing,
Judy
I wonder if, like football coaches, teachers can view their classes and fine tune their teaching skills as coaches fine tune their coaching. Imagine students having access to repeat instruction via recorded classes. Wouldn't video recording cut down on student misbehavior in general? The have cameras on school buses for that very reason.
In all of my wondering, I never considered a hidden camera or audio recorder attached to a student. I have never considered the possibility that our special population teachers and other school professionals are anything less than the dedicated educators they signed up to be. Stuart Chaifetz wasn't thinking any negative about his son's teacher either, but he felt he needed to find out why his ten year old son, diagnosed with Autism, was becoming violent in the classroom but never at home. He placed a "wire" on his son prior to sending him to school, as his son is unable to communicate adequately to explain his day. When Mr. Chaifetz listened to the six hours of audio, he was sick.
Instead of hearing other students bullying Akain, the audio revealed it was the teacher, the teacher's aides, and the occupational therapist who behaved inappropriately and unprofessionally, if not criminally. On the recording, you can hear an adult call Akain a "Bastard". You hear adults belittling the children off and on all day. You can hear adults discussing their dislike of parents, specifically, Mr. Chaifetz in front of Akain. You hear the teacher and the OT literally conspiring to sabotage an ARD meeting. You hear, "SHUT UP!" screamed by an adult to special needs children.
Mr. Chaifetz took his audio to the school administration in order for them to handle the personnel issues within the district. However, after only one aide being fired and the teacher being reassigned to another campus, Mr. Chaifetz went public.
Oh my gosh!!! Everyone involved should have been fired. They sure would have been fired in my school district. The teacher claimed she was not in her classroom the first hour of the day. Okay, what about the rest of the day? Her voice is clearly on that recording speaking inappropriately to students, speaking ill of parents, discussing how to lie to a parent and planning a coup during an ARD meeting.
What is this school district thinking? They have grounds for termination on so many levels. Why would any school district in any state want a teacher who is so obviously inappropriate and one so detrimental to the well being of the children in her class? Get her out of there. She is not the norm. She is the exception; a bad exception. She should not be in any classroom in any district.
One teacher's aide was fired. What about the other one? Even if she was not clearly heard being inappropriate, she was privy to what others said and reported this to no one. Where is she now? I wouldn't want her in my child's classroom, on the playground, in the library or in the lunchroom.
I am happy to report that Akain is no longer attending the school in question and is having no violent outbursts.
To address my original thought, I think maybe there are more reasons than I originally thought for having video cameras in the classroom. Whether it is one student's incorrigible behavior caught on video or one teacher out of thousands openly traumatizing her students, maybe it is worth it. If it helps educate students by watching their class over and over, maybe it's worth the time and money to get it done. If it helps our teachers become better teachers, it's a win-win situation.
Think about it.
Blessing,
Judy
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
My Perspective in Houston's newborn abduction
National News reports the murder of a young mother and the abduction of her newborn outside of a pediatricians office in Houston, Texas. The dramatic story paints a tragic and gruesome picture in our minds. A beautiful young mother whose dying words included, "My baby! My baby!" as she struggled to get in her murder's car to save her baby. The love of a mother overcame her body's own impending death. Her injuries tell the story of someone who had been shot seven times in the chest and who should be lying unconscious in the street as she bled to death. The story further creates the image of some crazed, if not demonic woman who killed a complete stranger and took her newborn baby. Soon after, we are told, the father races to the scene to see his wife's lifeless body. We imagine this father in his business casual attire as he was called away from work, bending over his wife's still body unable to comprehend what he sees or has been told. Ultimately, it is reported that the baby has been found unharmed and the suspect is in custody.
In later local reports, we learn that Child Protective Services were called in to help with the safety of the baby until he could be reunited with his father. Then pictures are released of the grieving father and his mother-in-law going into the police station to be reunited with their beloved son and grandson. Another photo, taken an hour later shows the same adults leaving the police station without the baby. In our minds, we are outraged!
More information and pictures are released to the media. The father has to pass a drug test before his children can go home...that's right, there are two more young children who, after losing their mother, were swept away by social workers. The father admits that he has felonies in his past. We go back and look at all the pictures again. We quickly form our individual opinions and pass judgement of the shooter/kidnapper, the victim, her family, the police, and CPS based on an article, a few pictures and our own life experiences. I am no different.
Why didn't someone notice a woman sitting her car watching people; seeing her as they went into the clinic and see her again when they went out. Are we so focused on our own priorities that we fail to see the world around us? If just one person had taken the time to notice something not right about her surroundings and report it, would it have prevented a tragedy? Maybe.
Why didn't someone reach out to this obviously disturbed woman? Now, even medication and treatment can never make her forget what she did. According to her ex-husband, she was a kind woman, a good mother and "would never hurt anybody." Something caused the change in her behavior. Something caused her to snap. Didn't anyone around her notice the changes? Most people don't randomly or obsessively think about or talk about adopting a baby with no viable plan, let alone stalk women with young babies and kill one in order to adopt her baby. This woman's tragedy may be much less accepted by the public than the victim and her family, but a tragedy all the same.
Why did this daddy have to be humiliated and be further traumatized because of his past mistakes? CPS was called in for protection of the newborn on an emergency basis. That was a logical option while all the basic details of the shooting were sorted out. CPS has a protocol that must be followed. Back ground checks are at the top of the list for anyone who is a caregiver for any given child under investigation. Even though this was not an abuse report, that same protocol had to be followed and Dad has a criminal record. It was rectified the following morning with a drug test but I still can't help but hurt for that daddy and his kids. I'm thinking they could have taken Dad to the local hospital or clinic for an immediate drug test to ensure this family could be together as they needed to be. However, I was not there and had I been, I may have been privy to additional information that indicated more caution should be taken.
The fact remains that many lives have been changed forever as a result of this tragedy. The murder victim left behind a husband and children who will never be the same. I'm sure she had extended family that will be changed at their loss. The shooter's children will carry the knowledge that their mom murdered another mom. Her extended family will forever be changed, wondering if they should have done something more. Every person in the parking lot, in the clinic, who responded to the 911 call and even the team that cleaned up are forever changed. The memories of that day will remain always.
In later local reports, we learn that Child Protective Services were called in to help with the safety of the baby until he could be reunited with his father. Then pictures are released of the grieving father and his mother-in-law going into the police station to be reunited with their beloved son and grandson. Another photo, taken an hour later shows the same adults leaving the police station without the baby. In our minds, we are outraged!
More information and pictures are released to the media. The father has to pass a drug test before his children can go home...that's right, there are two more young children who, after losing their mother, were swept away by social workers. The father admits that he has felonies in his past. We go back and look at all the pictures again. We quickly form our individual opinions and pass judgement of the shooter/kidnapper, the victim, her family, the police, and CPS based on an article, a few pictures and our own life experiences. I am no different.
Why didn't someone notice a woman sitting her car watching people; seeing her as they went into the clinic and see her again when they went out. Are we so focused on our own priorities that we fail to see the world around us? If just one person had taken the time to notice something not right about her surroundings and report it, would it have prevented a tragedy? Maybe.
Why didn't someone reach out to this obviously disturbed woman? Now, even medication and treatment can never make her forget what she did. According to her ex-husband, she was a kind woman, a good mother and "would never hurt anybody." Something caused the change in her behavior. Something caused her to snap. Didn't anyone around her notice the changes? Most people don't randomly or obsessively think about or talk about adopting a baby with no viable plan, let alone stalk women with young babies and kill one in order to adopt her baby. This woman's tragedy may be much less accepted by the public than the victim and her family, but a tragedy all the same.
Why did this daddy have to be humiliated and be further traumatized because of his past mistakes? CPS was called in for protection of the newborn on an emergency basis. That was a logical option while all the basic details of the shooting were sorted out. CPS has a protocol that must be followed. Back ground checks are at the top of the list for anyone who is a caregiver for any given child under investigation. Even though this was not an abuse report, that same protocol had to be followed and Dad has a criminal record. It was rectified the following morning with a drug test but I still can't help but hurt for that daddy and his kids. I'm thinking they could have taken Dad to the local hospital or clinic for an immediate drug test to ensure this family could be together as they needed to be. However, I was not there and had I been, I may have been privy to additional information that indicated more caution should be taken.
The fact remains that many lives have been changed forever as a result of this tragedy. The murder victim left behind a husband and children who will never be the same. I'm sure she had extended family that will be changed at their loss. The shooter's children will carry the knowledge that their mom murdered another mom. Her extended family will forever be changed, wondering if they should have done something more. Every person in the parking lot, in the clinic, who responded to the 911 call and even the team that cleaned up are forever changed. The memories of that day will remain always.
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